NY Weekend

Much to my grandfather’s disappointment I’m still very much in love with New York City. After a cool 7 hour drive into the city (only getting lost 8,000 times) I arrived at Erin’s apartment, UES (Upper East Side) style Thursday night. Friday morning Erin and I went to “work,” hers happened to be in an office off of 5th Avenue, and mine consisted of profiling various grocery stores and bakeries throughout the Manhattan area. Typically photographing a grocery store’s bakery display case while taking note of each product’s pricing, sizing, and packaging is frowned upon. However, a cover up story along the lines of “oh I’m sorry I didn’t know I couldn’t do that. I’m a Marketing student at NYU, working on a core project for school. We are developing our own bakery and need to do some market research.” A gentlemen waiting in line to buy cupcakes says, “That is so interesting! My good friend owns a bakery up in the Hamptons. I would really like to see your business plan when you are finished. Here is my business card with my personal email on the back.” Me: “Sure thing Barry, I’ll be in touch.” Smile, and exit while giggling inside.

After the store profiling I had a couple hours to kill before Erin got off work so I (naturally) got a manicure ($12), free facial (Facebook coupon), walked around the Madison Square Park street fair, and had some self-reflection/afternoon espresso time at a café while checking out the people walking by on the street. Friday night Erin, her bf (Jeff), and I went to an improv comedy show in the Flatiron District. You know when you are watching a TV show, something terribly awkward happens in the show, and as a result YOU feel terribly awkward. Yeah, that happened Friday night. Part of the comedian’s skit involved bringing people up to the stage and interrogating them while drawing their portrait. Kelly (cute sophomore at NYU) comes up to the stage.

Comedian: Kelly, who did you come here with tonight?
Kelly: One of my really good friends, Gary. (points to her Gary sitting in the front row)
Comedian: “Good Friend” hu? Do you think HE feels the same way? (comedian directs attention to Gary) Gary how do you feel about Kelly.
Gary: (awkwardness begins) Well, I do think she’s really cute.
Comedian & Crowd: oooooooooooooooooohhhhh! Cheering and laughter.
Comedian: Now Kelly, what do you think about that?
Reeally awkward pause. Kelly whispers something in the comedian’s ear.
Comedian: Kelly says, she does NOT feel the same way....Sorrrry Gary. Wow that’s awkard, good luck with the rest of the night.
Crowd erupts in awkard laughter. Erin, Jeff, and I were almost in tears.

Saturday afternoon we went to my heaven: the Museum of Modern Art. The new AbEx (Abstract Exhibition) exhibition was absolutely beautiful. Had burgers and beer at a rooftop by Penn Station while the sun was setting, then prepared our party pants. Raged. Some of us (who will remain anonymous) raged a little too hard. Woke up 50% hungover 50% drunk circa 8:00am, shoved my life into my carry on and took a cab to LGA. Slept the entire flight, barely made it home alive, made a Jacks pizza, and slept some more.

In conclusion, a PERFECT weekend!

Never Self Incriminate

"Unbelievable!" Is the first text I receive this morning from none other than Scott Marsh. This exclamation was of course in response to my text "my carry on was too big, I had to check it :(" As if the texting weren't enough I receive a call two minutes later, I answer "are you calling to make fun of me?" Scotter "Yes! Are you kidding me Haley?" I explain my logic: a) I'm going to be doing business woman things for two days then fabulous New York City things for two days so I'm obviously requiring a lot of artillery b) its fall so naturally my clothes are bigger and heavier than they are in the summer months and c) my layover's in Detroit so I'm thinking its going to be a small plane, a "puddle jumper" as Scotter says. Therefore, before I board, I go up to the Delta associates and say "my carry on is a liiiittle large, can you just throw it underneath the plane?" Delta woman smiles with a smug look on her face and says, "oh ya, much too big, aaaannnd we are going to have to charge you." Lesson of the day: never self incriminate (compliments of my father)

The best part about the story was that my plane turns out to be anything but a puddle jumper, with sufficient room for my over sized carry on. And that's my story of a $25 fine for self incrimination.

Positive Slope

I survived, hardly. And the hardly part comes from the consumption of alcohol more so than animal dandrif. Thursday Aaron (my boss's 25 year old nephew and fellow co worker) and I drove up to Chicago from Indy. Gel (the nickname I have given my Magellen GPS) provided us with a slight detour off of Cline Ave which deterred our arrival about 40 mins, but that's another story entirely.

We arrive at the convention center and I finally meet Tom (my Preppy Puppy boss so to speak) for the first time. We set up the show, which in my head took an hour max, but in actuality took a grand total of 3 1/2 hrs. Who knew my first job out of the Kelley School of Business would involve unwrapping and placing hundreds of dog cookies, cakes, and canolis onto decorative pink and green platters? Thursday night we feasted: booze, steak, and more booze. After dinner I was exhausted. We parted ways with "the tank" which is the nickname I attributed to Tom after witnessing his unbelievable consumption of the aforementioned feast. I was ready to call it quits for the night but I succumbed to Aaron's peer pressuring and was forced to drink somewhere in the ballpark of 4 more beers.
Friday was the first official day of the 44th Annual Pet Industry Christmas Trade Show! The morning was a great example of the affects of alcohol on the body, demonstrated by the graph above. Lesson: the length of time spent out of college (x axis) positively correllates to the severity of one's hangover (y axis). Aka Aaron did not make it down to breakfast, Haley had time to read the paper while enjoying an omlet, seasoned potatoe cubes, fruit, and a coffee. Jim and Sharra (a 5'9" blonde haired beauty who was formerly engaged to a Colt's player, and will now serve as Preppy Puppy's Midwest sales representative) arrived around 3pm. We hustled some dog treats til 6pm when the show closed then headed to the bar for round 2. We met up with the ladies at Barkin Bitches Boutique for pizza and beer at the hotel. Around 9:30 Devin picked me up, but was forced to undergo a semi interrogation second only to the questioning sessions performed by Jeff Guy before he was able to escort me off the premises. Very entertaining.

Saturday afternoon I was befriended by a sales representative from a dog food company called Evangers. Dana was a portly southern gentleman born for the sales world. "Hello sweetheart, how are you doing today? Great lookin product here" (picks up a barbeque flavored bulk bone treat and puts it in his mouth) "hmmm, not bad, what is this, barbeque?" Me (laughing): yes! Dana, is eating dog treats a normal part of your life? Dana: can't sell the water without swimmin in it.

I would like to express how fully my mind was blown by the array of, for lack of a better word, shit people buy and sell for dogs! Nail polish, earings, spa packages, sworski crystal collars, strollers, and the outfits...don't even get me started on the outfits. Dana taught me a valuable lesson over those three days: whatever you can buy your child, you can buy your dog.

Around 4 o clock I was contemplating suicide. If I heard one more person walk by our booth and say, "awww look at those canolis, don't they just look good enough to eat!!?" I was gonna punch somebody. Dana stops by and says: Cmon darlin we're gonna go take a shot of tequila." Me: what!?

Digpets a couple booths down consisted of a table, two bar stools, mini cups full of almonds or chaser depending on your perspective, and a bottle of tequila. I had no idea what they were selling or how it related to the pet industry in anyway, but I wasn't mad at it. That situation happened one or two more times that afternoon and before I knew it, it was time to pack up!

Sunday morning my body was ready to shut down. After 3 hours of selling, 3 hours of tearing down/packing up, and 3 hours of driving I arrived home to an empty room in an empty house, and it felt great!

I can now officially say: I surived my first trade show!

Couch Surfing

So I am officially 20% moved in to Indianapolis. I've had a slight delay with x FBI and our living arrangements, so keep your fingers crossed and if all goes well I should officially have a place to call home by Thursday. In the mean time I've become the queen of couch surfing. Tuesday, Wednesday: Rachel's (friend from college) house. Thursday, Friday, Saturday: 3 different couches in a quaint neighborhood called Broad Ripple Apartments aka walking distance from the bars :)

I haven't quite gotten into the swing of things with my job yet, as each day has been completely different. Wednesday I spent the morning with the ex newbie of the company, Aaron. We went to a Sam's Club, Walmart, and Marsh and showed me the products we sell to them. Thursday I spent the day with my boss, Jim, and a new potential client (sales rep named: Rick). As you may understand by now, I think southern accents are hilarious and it is extremely difficult to take them seriously, and Rick took the southern accent to a whole new level with phrases like: "that boy is as good as the day is long" or "now you don't want to go grabbin a tiger by the tail" or "now that fellow sure was a crook back in his day" Kept me entertained all day. After a day of Rick, Rachel and I decided to celebrate. The next day, I had a 9:30 am conference call for Preppy Puppy with my boss in Miami to discuss website renovation. It wasn't my most graceful morning but it does lead me to job perk #1: the conference call in my bed at Rachel's in my pajamas with blankee. Can't be mad at that.

But no good deed goes unpunished as they say. This coming Thursday, Friday, Saturday, AND Sunday I will be attending the 44th annual HH Backers Pet Industry Christmas Trade Show and Educational Conference in Chicago. Some people might respond: oh, a trade show, that could be fun. But people that know me, and know I'm allergic to any and all animals with fur, just laugh. At the show there will be a Grooming Competition as well as a Best Dressed Dog Competition. Basically my head is going to explode snot all over the beautifully groomed dogs. I go to Walgreens and explain my situation and ask, "so what do you recommend I do?" The pharmacist just looked at me and said, "Don't go." Me: "But I have to go." Him: "Then you should start taking Zyrtek. And if that doesn't work then take Benadryl, but that will make you sleepy." Great. I'm going to have snot running down my nose, jacked up on coffee to fight off the Benadryl drowsiness, while trying to pretend I'm an animal lover so my boss doesn't think I'm insane.

Should be an interesting weekend.