Positive Slope

I survived, hardly. And the hardly part comes from the consumption of alcohol more so than animal dandrif. Thursday Aaron (my boss's 25 year old nephew and fellow co worker) and I drove up to Chicago from Indy. Gel (the nickname I have given my Magellen GPS) provided us with a slight detour off of Cline Ave which deterred our arrival about 40 mins, but that's another story entirely.

We arrive at the convention center and I finally meet Tom (my Preppy Puppy boss so to speak) for the first time. We set up the show, which in my head took an hour max, but in actuality took a grand total of 3 1/2 hrs. Who knew my first job out of the Kelley School of Business would involve unwrapping and placing hundreds of dog cookies, cakes, and canolis onto decorative pink and green platters? Thursday night we feasted: booze, steak, and more booze. After dinner I was exhausted. We parted ways with "the tank" which is the nickname I attributed to Tom after witnessing his unbelievable consumption of the aforementioned feast. I was ready to call it quits for the night but I succumbed to Aaron's peer pressuring and was forced to drink somewhere in the ballpark of 4 more beers.
Friday was the first official day of the 44th Annual Pet Industry Christmas Trade Show! The morning was a great example of the affects of alcohol on the body, demonstrated by the graph above. Lesson: the length of time spent out of college (x axis) positively correllates to the severity of one's hangover (y axis). Aka Aaron did not make it down to breakfast, Haley had time to read the paper while enjoying an omlet, seasoned potatoe cubes, fruit, and a coffee. Jim and Sharra (a 5'9" blonde haired beauty who was formerly engaged to a Colt's player, and will now serve as Preppy Puppy's Midwest sales representative) arrived around 3pm. We hustled some dog treats til 6pm when the show closed then headed to the bar for round 2. We met up with the ladies at Barkin Bitches Boutique for pizza and beer at the hotel. Around 9:30 Devin picked me up, but was forced to undergo a semi interrogation second only to the questioning sessions performed by Jeff Guy before he was able to escort me off the premises. Very entertaining.

Saturday afternoon I was befriended by a sales representative from a dog food company called Evangers. Dana was a portly southern gentleman born for the sales world. "Hello sweetheart, how are you doing today? Great lookin product here" (picks up a barbeque flavored bulk bone treat and puts it in his mouth) "hmmm, not bad, what is this, barbeque?" Me (laughing): yes! Dana, is eating dog treats a normal part of your life? Dana: can't sell the water without swimmin in it.

I would like to express how fully my mind was blown by the array of, for lack of a better word, shit people buy and sell for dogs! Nail polish, earings, spa packages, sworski crystal collars, strollers, and the outfits...don't even get me started on the outfits. Dana taught me a valuable lesson over those three days: whatever you can buy your child, you can buy your dog.

Around 4 o clock I was contemplating suicide. If I heard one more person walk by our booth and say, "awww look at those canolis, don't they just look good enough to eat!!?" I was gonna punch somebody. Dana stops by and says: Cmon darlin we're gonna go take a shot of tequila." Me: what!?

Digpets a couple booths down consisted of a table, two bar stools, mini cups full of almonds or chaser depending on your perspective, and a bottle of tequila. I had no idea what they were selling or how it related to the pet industry in anyway, but I wasn't mad at it. That situation happened one or two more times that afternoon and before I knew it, it was time to pack up!

Sunday morning my body was ready to shut down. After 3 hours of selling, 3 hours of tearing down/packing up, and 3 hours of driving I arrived home to an empty room in an empty house, and it felt great!

I can now officially say: I surived my first trade show!