Midwestern Flavor in the Big Apple

Hi Team,

Long time no talk. I would love to recap the weekend of Scotter and Jillian. They arrive at my dorm to pick me up, and the first embrace is magical J Scott tries to embrace the ridiculous amount of traffic as it takes us 20 minutes to travel about 3 miles to drop off the rental car. Next up in transportation torments, Jill tries to mask her near heart attack when we get into the cab that takes us to the hotel as he is driving like a complete lunatic. As soon as we get out Jillian says, “You didn’t even notice that did you?” Me: “haha nope!” I mean, you never really hear about Taxi accidents, so I assume safety at all times.

Thursday night we boozed a little bit at Pier 17, which was very relaxing to get away from the city a little bit and see the water. For dinner, I awed Scotter and Jillian with my frugality, saving them $30 at a muy posh Italian restaurante. Thank you Groupon. For those of you price conscious aficionados out there (aka Jessica and Aunt Mary) not familiar with Groupon, I highly recommend you check it out!

Friday I blew S&J’s minds by taking them on a tour of the MoMA. The contemporary exhibition of white spray paint directly on the floor; Bruce Nauman’s “sound sculpture” consisting of a continuous stream of seven voices reciting the days of the week in random order; or the feminist photography exhibition of Valie Export’s crotchless pants…all winners. Following the museum we traveled down to a different kind of mind blowing experience: Century 21 “New York’s best kept secret.” If Century 21 is the best kept secret, then I don’t want to see the worst kept, because it’s an absolute mad house. Scott lasted 6 minutes before I got a text informing me that he would be outside when we were finished. A pair of Hudson jeans and Calvin Klein blouse later and we were out of there!

Our evening activity consisted of consuming REAL food for the SECOND night in a row and attending Avenue Q (an off-Broadway play). Avenue Q is a story of a bright-eyed college grad who comes to New York City with big dreams and a tiny bank account. Mixed in with various levels of inappropriateness…Sound familiar?

Saturday we went to the 59th street entrance of Central Park which was absolutely beautiful! It was there, in that beautiful patch of grass, that I got rained on by tears of reality. After a sufficiently depressing discussion of salary, insurance, medical, dental, 401K, taxes, taxes, and more TAXES…it was time for me to depart. It was a tearful goodbye that afternoon with my favotrite parents in the world.

Then I was off to meet Erin and Shar in Queens for the MoMA PS1 Warmup Concert Series! That, is a posting for another day. I must run, as blogging at work is usually not looked upon highly. :)

xx

Photograph: Robert Indiana, Love, 1970
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Robert_Indiana

S.U.P. Brooklyn

Greetings Team Haley

It has been another action packed weekend in the Big Apple. Allow me to recap my most recent adventures. Saturday Alex and I traveled to an exotic land known as Connecticut. The hour long train ride there was quite entertaining; we discussed at what height you are officially disadvantaged as a male (answer: anything below 5'5"), how much money it would take you to jump down into the tracks to retrieve it (answer: anything greater than or equal to $5), and of course the age old debate over which Tostito chip is superior: scoops or bite size (answer: bite size). We hung out on the beach for a while, swam in jellyfish infested waters, and laid out on the pier. Everyone else decided to swim back to the beach while Alex and I remained on the pier. Once we were ready to head in, we came to the realization that jumping back into the egregiously salty, cold, jellyfish Connecticut waters was not number one on the favorite activities list. Just then, we saw someone "S.U.P.ing" which for you uneducated land faring folk is also known as a Standing Up Paddle Surfing. (notice picture) Obviously, I call out to the man: "Excuse me sir, what are the chances you can give me a ride back to shore on that thing?" man: "well, I've never tried to fit two people on here, but we can give it a whirl."

We end up talking to the guy (Chris) for a while. He gives us both free lessons on the board and tells us all about the ways of S.U.P. Turns out he gives S.U.P. lessons and even has a class. Apparently this is a great workout and "I'm sure your dad would love this." So watch out Lake Syracuse! To be honest, I was pretty quick on the board, but not so good on the steering. I had to sit down and canoe myself back to the pier because I was too far away and not making any progress changing directions while standing on the board. All in all, a great day.

Sunday morning (per the usual) was a little rough. However, I ended up making it out of the apt to have a fulfilling day! Shar and I traveled to the Brooklyn Museum to see the Warhol exhibition. Which...was mind blowing. It showcased his last ten years as an artist and it was amazing to see some of his more abstract works. One of my favorites (shown below) is called Oxidation, which he made by urinating on copper...quite hilarious actually, since when it was first showcased not everyone knew that little tidbit.



After the museum we went to Prospect Park. Prospect Park was designed by Frederick Law Olmsted and Calvert Vaux after they completed Manhattan's Central Park. Many people say that Central Park was just Olmsted and Vaux's warm up round, and that Prospect Park is where they really got it right. I couldn't agree more. It was absolutely beautiful. You totally forgot you were in the city at all. Shar and I laid in the middle of a huge field, sunshine on our faces, and chitter chattered for a while before heading back home. Finished off the evening with an episode of Top Gear, my new favorite BBC production, and now my friends it is time for bed.

Stay tuned, Scott and Jill arrive Thursday. :) Next blog should be amusing to say the least.

Reasonable People Drink PBR

So I definitely have a new respect for business dudes and ladies who sport a professional look while using public transportation in the summer. Traveling to my sales career fair was borderline unbearable, and I was wearing a skirt suit!

Time to backtrack. Last night I was enjoying an ice cold $4 PBR (happy hour special NYC style) and some sir at a different table is giving me the eye. I respond by giving him the "can I help you?" eye back. He motions for me to come over to his table as if he has something to ask him. I motion back "if you need to ask a question you may do so at my table".

He approaches the table and here's the opening line "you seem like a reasonable person since you are drinking PBR so I was hoping you would be able to settle a dispute my friends and I are having"
Me: well you are right about that, I am a perfectly reasonable human being, what's the debate?
Him: is it completely wrong to cheat on your wife or girlfriend if emotions are not involved.
Me: yes, but define cheating.
Him: sex.
Me: duh you idiot.
Him: ok let me frame it this way, let's say your wife thinks she's a great cook, but every night you sneak out after dinner and go to a different restaurant.
Me: examples a and b are completely different and not comparable. Sex is the most intimate thing you can share with another person. Many would argue it to be a much more intimate experience than a bowl of chicken and pasta.
Him: all I'm saying is that our society places too much of an emphasis on the importance of sex.
Me: alright guy whatever you say.

He goes back to the table and I see his wedding ring. Classy.

Persistence to Party

I often times like to make correlations btw positive characteristics you would use to describe yourself in an interview and real life situations. Example: resourcefulness demonstrated by chewing gum directly after taking a shot of alcohol because proper chasers were not available.

Last night's example of inappropriate interview characteristics can be described as a persistence to party. Allow me to map out an evening only to be described as ridiculous.

I exit my apt at 5:30pm wearing a short grey skirt, white t, and high heels. Even in New York you will get stares for these types of shenanigans because people are not ready to see you in this attire quite yet...I get on the subway to meet up with some friends for happy hour on 42nd st (East Side), afterwards I hop on the subway again to meet up with E for our romantic restaurant week dinner on 14th st (East Side). After dinner we take a cab back up to 50th st (West Side). 50th turns out to be a dud, so we decide to meet up with another team at 56th st (East Side). Once out of the cab, the team informs us we actually needed to be on 23rd st (East Side). At this point E and I are hot (really hot), sweaty, and increasingly becoming less sober and more grumpy.

After a very silent walk up to 68th street I decide to try one last time. Erin and I depart ways and I jump BACK onto the subway headed down to 23rd st. This last attempt was a winner. I met up with Alex and his friends at a 3 story hookah bar/club. They had a table with bottle service there so the remainder of the evening was both enjoyable and economically efficient.

Attached map for detailed travel experience coming soon.

Business Development with Scott and Jill

I realized yesterday my bosses at work are slightly varied versions of Scott and Jill Marsh. Before I get into that, let me back it up a little bit and set the stage.

I've basically been number crunching all summer in hopes to eventually build a model enabling MoMA to easily expand their retail stores. For example, if they decide to build a 3,000 square foot store in Italy, essentially my retail space analysis model would tell them the SKU assortment, expected traffic, conversion rate, profitability etc. So one of my tasks is to calculate the selling square footage for each product category. Ex: kitchen housewares and tabletop account for 18% of the space and 23% of the sales.

Now before I continue it is important to note that I have two bosses. William, the business development manager (aka Scott), and Ruth, the lady William reports to/director of business development (or Jill depending on how you wish to view the situation). William is a very pragmatic and detailed oriented person, he likes to think things through logically and take his time. Ruth, however, is an extremely charismatic and lively Jewish-mother-type. When it comes down to it, she is only concerned with the "big picture." (as she says in her very assertive New York accent)

Yesterday I met with Ruth to discuss my progress. Instead of analyzing 8 different floor plans, calculating square footage by department, averaging those numbers, and then adding up all the categories to figure out a final square footage percentage, she decides we are taking a different route in solving our space allocation problem.

She grabs a tape measure from her desk and says, c'mon Haley we are going to the design store. According to Ruth, there are basically three fixtures: small, medium, and large. She busts out the tape measure, disregarding nearby shoppers, and begins half measuring half eyeballing the fixtures. "Alright. We will call this one 8, this one 4, and since this one looks like it's in the middle, we'll call that 6." We spent about 15 more minutes in the store eye balling and tape measuring until she was satisfied. "See, told you this was easy. Analyzing 8 floor plans? Please! We don't have time for that!"

It was at this point when I realized that if Jillian were the director of Business Development at MoMA she would have tackled this situation in exactly the same fashion. And Scotter (or William in my case) would let out a disappointed sigh at the utter inaccuracy of what just occurred.

In the end it was an extremely satisfying day.

Miss you Mother and Father...can't wait to show you around the city!

Supercalifragulisticexpialidocious!

Hello Readers

I am currently at work. I have decided for the last 20 minutes of my life I cannot and will not look at the same spreadsheet I have been analyzing for the past month.

I haven’t spoken to you guys about the weekend. It was great, if you were wondering. Friday night we went to a local clubby/bar thing which was very convenient for the ride home. Usually we are somewhere in Meatpacking which requires some serious concentration to figure out how to get home. Saturday, as some of you may know, I finally made it to Nevada Smiths where I was on the clock from 9:30-5:30, main responsibilities included drinking beer and cheering for America. I was great at this job, some might even say, too great. I slept from 6:00pm Saturday evening to 5:30am Sunday morning. Sunday was pretty rough until about 1pm, but I still managed to make it to Central Park for a couple hours of bronzing in the sweltering humidity.

The first portion of my 4^th of July week has been hot. Really hot. Today it finally cooled down, but humidity was at 12,000% on Monday and Tuesday which makes crowded subways in the morning not so much fun. Tuesday evening Kemma and I went to see Mary Poppins on Broadway! I am always (and by always I mean twice now) astounded by what they can do with sets and props! They are so detailed and transportable you forget you are at a play. At one point they had Bert—the chim chimminy chim chim charee sweep man tap dancing upside down on the ceiling! And at the end of the play Mary Poppins flew into the crowd on her umbrella. Muy impressivo I say.

Tonight we have an intern bonding session, perhaps a post party happy hour, who knows. Watch out for the weekend updates. Shout out to Riley on Friday, way to be born broski! Have a Happy 4^th everyone, miss you tons!

Cultural Explosion

Greetings!

My past three days have been nothing less than a cultural stimulation overload. Let’s break it down:

Monday—Jess and I went to Brooklyn after work to see Grant and three other opera singers perform in Fort Greene Park. Sounds like an easy enough journey, but we accidentally went 15 subway stops in the wrong direction. I am completely embarrassed this happened, and would not like to discuss it further. The important part is that we got to the park just in time to see Grant sing! It was absolutely beautiful. In addition to the singers there was a cellist and a piano. The piano was/is part of the “Play Me I’m Yours” program, where from 9am-10pm each day, 60 pianos are available to play across New York City for any member of the public to play and engage with. One of the performers even sang that annoying Travie McCoy-Billioniare song opera style, which was actually much better than the Travie McCoy version. It was a perfect example of Caitlin’s theory of how certain forms of media or food typically found to be unpleasant are much more enjoyable when presented in an unexpected atmosphere. Ex: I don’t particular care for peanut butter cookies, but if someone were to pass them out in elementary school for someone’s birthday, I would definitely eat them, and like them. Afterwards Grant and his friend walked Jess and I to the subway as we caught up and chitter chattered about this and that.

Tuesday—Jess and I travelled down south yet again, but this time to the East Village to a hipster/indie movie theatre called Landmark Cinema where we watched the Banksy (a very famous, yet mysterious, British graffiti artist) movie called Exit Through the Gift Shop. The movie was surprisingly thought provoking, entertaining, and hilarious. One major theme the movie touched on was the value of art and how deceptive that whole process really is. Essentially if one influential artist or critic labels an unknown newby’s work “brilliant” they can be selling their work for hundreds of thousands in weeks. Afterwards we met up with Kim (another intern biddy who goes to NYU), Juan, Josh, Tasha and 4 other people that aren’t important enough to name off at a hookah bar by the theatre. And at some point between leaving my apartment at 8am and arriving at 11:30pm, my entry card had fallen out of my purse. As I am running low on funds at the moment I have been telling the security guards I left my ID upstairs and they let me go up. Hopefully my card issues will be resolved this afternoon.

Wednesday—Chalk full of artistic discussion. At lunch Jess, Sharrissa, and I went to see 5 artists from the P.S.1 “Greater New York” exhibition speak about their work. David Benjamin Sherry was by far my favorite. He was completely ADD and his photographs were comical and eye catching. After work we travelled to Tribeca to see a live taping of an Art 21 performance entitled “The Present Perfect.” I watch Art21 documentaries all the time on pbs.org so it was so cool to actually see one in real life! Last but not least, when walking to the nearest 6 subway stop we saw....MERYL STREEP! Haha my first official NY celebrity spotting. We (Kristin and I, another intern/ hard core drinker from Milwaukee who I quickly realized will be a great addition to my life) yelled, “Meryl we love you!” She turned around, waved and smiled at us.

Thursday—Goals of today are: resolve financial issues, regain access to building, have a home cooked meal at Granny’s with Erin.

As you all know, US will be playing Ghana this Saturday, so I am working towards a more successful soccer watching experience this weekend.

xx